Making Decisions from Love, Not Fear

Lunaescence月光 ☾⟡

μεράκι (meraki): to do something with soul, creativity, or love; to leave a piece and essence of yourself in something you do

We make thousands of choices every second of every day that ultimately dictate our life. Now if you’re someone like me, who has always strived for perfection, making a decision can be something you view as hard. Which for majority of my life is how I have felt about making decisions.

What if I waste my time going down the wrong path?

What if I don’t make the right choice?

What am I supposed to be doing?

What should I do?

These questions often linger in my mind when trying to make even the simplest of decisions, such as what to eat for lunch, what shirt to wear to work, or if I want an iced or hot coffee. By midday I find my brain so fatigued. I’m trying to make all of my decisions based on what I think is right or what I’m supposed to do. All this does is instill a bottomless fear in ourselves and distance ourselves from our intuition.

Now what is the underlying cause? Fear-based decision making. It’s funny how easy it is to convince yourself that you’re making rational choices, when in reality, they’re just fear in disguise. I realized recently that so many of my decisions have been based on what I should do rather than what I truly want. Making decisions based on love, not fear, is when you do something with soul, creativity, or love; to leave a piece and essence of yourself in something you do.


I should pick a practical major.

I should get a stable 9-5 job.

I should be productive all the time.

I should be further ahead by now.

I should eat a certain way to lose weight.

I should follow the safe path because it’s the right thing to do.


Well, I did all of that. And here I am. Trying to find my way out. Now being honest with myself, most of my life has been shaped by fear. Fear of failure. Fear of the unknown. Fear of not being enough.

“We suffer more often in imagination than in reality”

Seneca

I love this quote by Seneca, a stoic philosopher from Ancient Rome. It really ties into how our fear-based decisions impact our reality. For the first time, I’m really questioning: What do I actually want? Not what’s expected of me, not what feels “safe”, but what genuinely excites me and fulfills me?

I don’t have all the answers, but I started with a list of the things I love to ponder on, discuss, listen to others talk about, read about… topics and things that truly excite my inner self. I highly suggest you do the same 🙂 It can be just one thing even. It doesn’t have to be a whole list.

Fear based will keep you stagnant.

Nothing grows from fear or hate.

Fear only creates loops, keeping you stuck in the same place, over and over again.

It’s easier said than done to just change the way we make our decisions and it won’t be easy. It’ll take time and conscious effort.

Making decisions out of love require you to:

  • Check in with yourself – What do I truly want?
  • Practice self-compassion – Would you treat your loved one the way you’re treating yourself?
  • Visualize the outcome – Choose what brings you peace, excitement, or a sense of alignment
  • Release the “shoulds” – What will make me proud of myself in the future?
  • Create space for intuition – Take a breath, slow down, and listen to your gut
  • Set healthy boundaries – Saying no is also loving yourself
  • Be gentle with mistakes – Fall in love with the learning process

At the end of the day, life is too short to be living in fear. Let’s live a life full of love, passion, and purpose. One choice at a time<3


Shout out to Goobie & Doobie’s Youtube video for inspiring this post <3

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2 thoughts on “Making Decisions from Love, Not Fear

  1. Greetings! Very useful advice in this particular article! It’s
    the little changes that will make the most significant changes.
    Thanks for sharing!

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